Directions

I am sorry to not have blogged in awhile. I have spent much of my free time podcasting!! Please go to this link to listen. blackbean.podbean.com. I hope you can all stop by for a listen.

the secret

I must hurry the sun is beginning to come up and I feel like I lose my ability to write then. It is a Monday morning and I have gotten to the bean later than usual. In fact I toyed with the idea of driving in today. I made two moves to the car I even opened the door, but alas felt walking would be a better choice.

I hate to use cliches but Spring is in the air! When I take my first step towards Rollinsford the first sound I hear is of water being pumped from the houses around me. I don't know but for some reason it is always better when you are not alone. It is comforting to know that the water in the basement was not my fault. I move along contently knowing that others are suffering like me.

It is late for me as I make my way toward the Bean. I hear birds chirping and at first it is a nice sound then it gets louder. I wonder where they are and then think people are trying to sleep, this is loud!! So once again I am briefly transported back in time. It is sometime in the 1990's and I am living on the 3rd floor of an old Victorian home, I assume it was at one time the helps quarters. It is up amongst the trees, I am up amongst the trees! For the first time this is where I am called awake by the sounds of birds in the morning. It is cool. I feel so lucky to be here. When winter comes and the sounds subside I find a radio show that starts with the sounds of birds in the morning. It is all beautiful. Then something happens and it is no longer that way. When I hear the sound I get angry I just want to keep sleeping. Cut down these trees so that they will move. I do not have to get up this early stop stop stop!!! This goes on for weeks, then suddenly I do not notice it and carry on as before.

That was my time travel story. This for some reason brings me to the movie/book The Secret. I have not seen nor read it. It's story from what I have heard is something that I have known of since my teen years. I think that it is basically this, If you want it, believe that you should have it then you will have it. This is something that floats in and out of our consciousness. This book was popular a few years ago. It is funny I think that many people saw the power of the secret at first. Believe it and it will be, it is the secret of the universe. Like the birds chirping this secret slowly dissipates and you wake up one morning and it is gone.

This week I think that I have noticed how some people have lots of money. It seems like whatever they do they just make more and more money. I am not talking about friends and neighbors (of mine anyway). I am talking about people like Martha Stewart, Donald Trump and Bill Gates. (In fact I think that it was Windows that got me thinking of this, and how we all feel like we have to buy things produced by them. That is a whole other story though. And now I can tell that my writing powers are waning I am hitting the back button more and more to correct my typing errors, so I must hurry and get this done. If I do I will save the world.) So what do this people have that I/we don't have?

It is very simple they live with the knowledge that they can have and do deserve what they work for. You don't just get it by thinking it though. Your whole being must feel it and live it. You must embrace the power that is life, that is you!! When the sump pumps are pumping feel the power of a problem being fixed. I hope that I will be able to always hear the birds chirping and know what it really means....oh know the sun is up and i cant find the writne keys tho ohik the order is all wrng wjat am O suppsed tp did i get my massege out?

stay tuned...

Blogette (mini blog)

I did a podcast check it out at blackbean.podbean.com/

No.3

The walk into work this morning was beautiful. I walked down the streets staring at the snow covered scene. From the snow on the houses to the cat prints in the snow it was mesmerizing. When I rounded the corner to Main Street I saw the church steeple sprouting from the treetops . (I wondered why were there no Christmas lights. Less than a month after the holiday most signs of it are gone?)It felt like a movie set. Was I in South Berwick Me or Ridgefield Ct or, I thought, even Europe.

Recently I heard a report on how babies cry with accents. You know like here in the states a baby goes wah wah wah, but in France it would go wa wa wa. Liz says that that makes perfect sense. After all when the baby is invetro(?) it hears what is around and then when it is born it will mimic those sounds.

I continue my walk to work. I think that I go to work early in the morning for many reasons. It is peaceful and serene and most importantly I feel that it is a "magic" time. Things happen in these hours that we do not even know but somewhere in our bodies we appreciate all that happens when we are unaware. Things like snow removal, street cleaning, road maintenance, stocking of the grocery store, baking of morning pastries.....These things happen and we are not aware so it makes it seem like magic.

For some reason I think that the brain operates on a different level at this time. Things that to me seem impossible suddenly might actually be possible. I will never get tired, be able to work all day as if it was the beginning, make croissants, be finished before we open, over come the time space continua m, take a vacation, live in Italy....Why do I think that these and much more is possible in the middle of the night but as soon as 6 am hits they are not?

The answer my friend is blowin in the wind!!! It is because somehow during this magic time we(I?) am more us. The outside forces are removed. There is no one telling why this can't happen. The humming of man made forces is far less than in the middle of the day. Liz says that it is because I do not get enough sleep and I start to see things a little askew. And as the 6:00 hour approaches I think she may have a point!!! But it isn't 6 yet so I still hold onto the magic theory. I know that anything is possible.

I pass the picturesque church. Where am I? If babies can have accents can trees or any plant? What about the items made with those trees? What about the energy of the builders? What about my own energy? This scene I am walking in is sparking a memory, whether it is a real memory or just a dream I had I am not sure. I am now walking down lower main street in South Berwick Me USA. If I close my eyes and breath slowly and think of this memory I can time travel. I know I can do this. I continue to walk, my eyes closed, breathing, thinking of the countryside covered in snow. I can see the smoke coming out of the cottage in the distance. I can smell the cocoa being heated on the stove. Holy cow I have done it!! I am in the swiss alps!! Wait this isn't real, it is a painting. It is the package of Swiss Miss cocoa from my childhood!!!

The timer is going off and the sun is coming up. Maybe I can't do anything, but maybe I can, or maybe I can do anything when the stars are out and the wind is blowing just right.

#2

We are entering the second full week of 2010. In keeping with my promise to myself I am writing this now. I am hoping that as I write something will come to me.

It is 4:44 in the morning and I have about 15 minutes to spare.  At a New Years party there was a conversation about routine.  The discussion had to do with whether or not it was how one operated and is it good. As I write this I easily say routine is good. In fact it is the best part of Tuesday.  On Tuesday there is an actual baking schedule. What that means is that I do not have to think about what to make. It is always the same, The Best Bran Muffins, orange scones, cardamom cake and sticky buns. Knowing this is why I have time now to "play".  The idea of the same thing all the time does not appeal to Liz though. To her and others I think it means no growth, boredom and monotony. To me it is safety. I like knowing what to expect in my day.  Generally there is always a feeling that something is going to go wrong with my day, that someone is going to show up with bad news saying that I forgot to do what I said I was going to do. The same routine helps to eliminate this.  Isn't it best to know what is going to happen?

On the other hand yesterday I was thrown a wrench into my routine. I had to go to Boston.  This was not planned and inside I was angry Monday is paperwork day, play day and no worry day. There was however a sense of excitement in going into the city.  I love to stare at people and try to figure out who they are and what they are doing in the same place as me.  While in Boston (it was for a trip to the dentist) I threw caution to the wind and walked a different to the T!!!  There was definite apprehension in this decision, like would I be able to get on a mile down the road and I don't come here that often what about lunch at BOLOCO?  Well as you can tell I made it back and I actually got a reward for going a different. Yoplait was handing out 4 packs of yogurt!  So what if I didn't like it.

My time is up!!! It is time to start the breakfast routine!  I do want to mention that I did try to podcast last week, but pushed the wrong button and erased the show. I will try again later this week.  I also broke the microphone so I have to take care of that issue.

In trying to keep this somewhat related to food. I want to mention what I am thinking about having this week. A curry of some sort, fajitas, figure out what lemongrass is and how to use it, of course some use of a tomato sauce, and maybe I will figure out how to break the bread routine and make cheese bread too!

 

I woke up this morning and things seemed a little different. The house was very quiet. I heard none of the sounds that I generally equate with waking. Their were no breathing sounds, the clock made no noise, the wind was not howling, the refrigerator made no humming sound and the clanking of the furnace was not there.  As I proceeded to the bathroom the sound of me was there, but nothing else, my feet across the carpet, the creaking of the door and the water making its way down the drain.  Outside there was a fresh coat of snow on the ground. It was as if today was fresh, everything was new, waiting to be discovered.

The silence continued as I made my way down the stairs, (backwards saying rabbits, rabbits of course!).  This is when i realized why no breathing sounds. The family made it to midnight as I conked out at 8:30.  They were all sleeping quietly on the couches. I knew they were there and as i focused in on them I heard their slumbered breathing.  The cat starts to move, the refrigerator awakens for a moment and the furnace begins its morning battle to start the day.

Why am I awake? There is no work today,everyone is asleep  yet I want to move about and do something.  There is always work to be done here at the BBC.  During my walk here I think of all the things I can get done in the dark while all is quiet. I will organize the kitchen, prep the tomorrows specials, mop the floors, re-stock the paper items, do some bookkeeping the list is endless. The walk down as always awakens me and I am ready for the New Year to start with me in control beginning now!!

Well maybe before I start I will play one game of solitaire and free cell. Oh yeah I have this silly Sponge Bob camera of Owen's that I need to figure out.  I also have been trying to set up a skype time with my sisters and parents. I should check on those things.  Four hours later it is time to get  ready for the family events of the new year and besides winning $182 in solitaire, playing and winning 3 games of Free Cell , hooking up this camera that takes blurry pictures I have done nothing productive.  I still know that this year is going to be the year that things get done. Maybe they wont all be done today but they will get done, really right after this game of solitaire. 

PS I did manage to make a gingerbread trifle for today, and took 2 pictures of it with Owen's             Sponge Bob camera!!!