Happy Birthday Dad

My father turned 70 last Monday. Have you ever sat and thought about life and it took you over? Sometimes when I think about being, I nearly lose my breath. For Jack's 70th birthday the family got together at my sister Heather's house in PA. over Easter holiday. Everyone was there,but me. I was not able to make it due to work obligations and various other things (like not realizing that Easter was even here yet).

Okay, back to my point? For this gathering my mother asked us all to write a memory of Dad. Once again being the procrastinator that I am I did not get it done in time. There is no time like the present! I have thought and thought about this. I did not want to write about some disciplinary thing like the time Dad chased me down the street with a baseball bat. I think there was a broken window involved and if I really think about it, it might not even have been me, it was probably Harry(my youngest brother). Then I thought I could write about when I was a senior in High School and I was going to the library to study. I said I was going to the library anyway. I had seen an add in the paper for a car for sale it was $3000.00. I did not have the money. There was a wrestling match at the arena and they would pay someone $3000.00 to stay in the ring for three minutes with the crusher. So Dad dropped me off at the library, but before he left he said to me, "Philip, remember with great power comes great responsibility." OOhh wait that wasn't me and it wasn't Dad. I think it may have been my uncle Ben to my cousin Peter Parker.

I guess I could write about the time I went to a party with the "adults" from work. There was drinking involved and I was driving. I got to have the car but only if I would pick Terry up at 9 from his girlfriends. I was in no condition to drive I had better call home. An hour later I went to the car it was not there. Oh well, it wasn't that far, I could walk. After a shortcut threw the dump, a field and past my house (I still was not ready to go home!)I ended up down town. A police officer found me and offered me a ride. He asked my name so naturally I told him Johnny Hughes, of course he knew Johnny he cleaned the station on Saturdays for $25. Now that I was home how could I sneak in the house? They were all in the living room the kitchen door would work. Out of nowhere Dad appeared as I was making my way to the stairs and the "safety" of my room. I was caught. With one fell swoop I went over the couch onto the coffee table, and then it was up to bed. Mom and Dad were off to Md. the next morning to visit #1 son Johnny. The situation was not discussed again, however the school psychiatrist wanted to see me the next week?

So what was the topic? I have known this man for 45 years. I must have some type of memory that was not disciplinary. As I start to think about this my mind drifts once again. He is 70 I am 45. I moved out of the house when I was 20. It has been 25 years since I have lived at home. Dad was 45 when I moved out. Where was he in his life in 1983 compared to me in 2008? He had 7 kids at home and 2 that were not at home. Back then he was my father. Now as well as being my father he is a fellow person to me. Someone whose life was once intertwined with mine, but now exists without my presence and vice versa. Twenty years prior to me leaving he was an expectant father two years prior to that her was a single man figuring out where he wanted his life to go. Five years prior to that he was in High School. Four years prior ....

They say we "change" our skin every 7 years. It is hard to remember that I was once someone else. I am who I am because of the people in my life. Jack being one of them. I remember the stories above because they were not the norm. My father is not an excitable man. He is not prone to acting out his aggression on his family. Although who wouldn't be upset when one of your kids throws a ball through a window or when your son got so drunk that the police drove him home? It is the things that I learned from him without knowing, that mark who he is to me.

Thank you Jack for being the man in my childhood that showed me how to be a man. You have given me an appreciation for food,a work ethic, my love for children, a receding hair line and allowed me to become who I am. We did not always agree on what path to take, you never forced me to take any path I did not want to.

Happy Birthday Dad
(Sorry it is late)